May 2012
15 posts
From the Liam Neeson School of Parking.
adverve:
Probably the best note about a bad parking job you’ll see. (Via the Instagram.)
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“Does being the youngest person in your office automatically make you the first...”
– My friend Stephanie recently started a new job with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra. Apparently she’s the computer wiz of her office.
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Love lessons
My brother: Are you going to wait for me at Starbucks?
Me: Yeah, I brought my laptop.
Him: Ok. Well, you should know that ... the hospital is right around the corner. There's a lot of ... ahem, doctors and stuff that, uh, go to that Starbucks.
Me: Are you telling me to go hit on a doctor? Did mom tell you to find me a doctor?
Him: Yes.
Me: Sigh.
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“Chicago is what I am. Ferris is sort of my love letter to the city …...”
– John Hughes on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
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Illinois Senate: Allow mini horses as service... →
Soon Illinoisans may have their ”small equestrian guides” accompany them to school or the grocery store.
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Twenty something and scared
J: My little sister is going to wear a pink tux to the prom. I busted out my old prom photos. Memories... all alone in the moooonlight...
Me: SHUT UP, SHE IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO PROM. YOU ARE LYING!
J: I KNOW RIGHT.
Me: ... Do you suddenly feel really old?
J: I felt old when I had to pull out my photo album to remember what the prom theme was :(
Me: OH GOD, our prom had a THEME? I don't even remember this
When Ethel at the Park Cart knows my order
lifeasabomber:
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“I love that bitch!”
– Tristan recently got an iPhone, and he is quite taken by Siri.
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Cheese or font? →
I think the title says all that needs to be said about this game.
April 2012
11 posts
Hot and Cold
ME: Come pick me up in like 15 minutes
ME: Never mind. 30 minutes.
ME: Could it be 45 minutes now?
DAD: YOU’RE HOT AND YOU’RE COLD YOU’RE YES AND YOU’RE NO YOU’RE IN AND YOUR OUT YOURE UP AND YOU’RE DOWN.
“I’d have to say April 25th. It’s not too hot, and not too cold, all...”
– Cheryl Frasier (Miss Rhode Island) from Miss Congeniality.
Happy April 25th, everyone!
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Who run the world?
Lena: Because of a girl?
Me: when is anything not because of a girl
L: haha, exactly
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100 foods to eat before you die
Found this floating around Facebook. Most people have only tried about 20, I’ve had 40. This seems like kind of a strange list, but I’ll play along.
1. Abalone 2. Absinthe 3. Alligator 4. Baba Ghanoush 5. Bagel and lox 6. Baklava 7. Barbecue ribs 8. Bellini 9. Bird’s Nest Soup 10. Biscuits and gravy 11. Black Pudding 12. Black Truffle 13. Borscht 14. Calamari 15. Carp 16. Caviar 17....
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March 2012
10 posts
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“We used that for our wedding invitations. That’s our font, baby.”
– TJ O’Donnell, one of my favorite SCAD professors, pointing to Papyrus. Oh, what a hilarious man. You can find some of his work here.
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True friendship
Me: Wow, you look so skinny today.
Laura: I like you!
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February 2012
10 posts
Father/son talks
E: You know what my favorite date ever was? Peperoni Pizza at a laundry mat.
E's father: Which explains the conspicuous absence of grandchildren.
Ghetto Hikes →
“I’m 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say.”
Good grief is this blog funny!
My favorites:
I’mma tape a Kudos bar on Raymond’s back… We get attacks by a bear or sumthin, he gunna eat his ass first.
Jamarcus mad cuz I change his facebook to say he like men and he can’t change it cuz this forest...
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January 2012
25 posts
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“I hope Pitbull knows that his songs are being enjoyed by middle-aged women in...”
– Heather, a friend from college.
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“Mama, are there snakes on this plane?!”
– Little girl to her mother in the airport.
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